An Emotional and Rainy Day

Maybe those two go hand in hand. To clarify, though, by emotional, I don’t necessarily mean bad, just a bit draining.

Lily has been gone since Sunday and I’m really missing her sweet little arms around my neck, I had to confront a coworker about her poor reputation around the office as of late and turns out she thought she needed to confront me right back about my unwillingness to fix her program, I went to see another therapist this afternoon and then upon my return to work I was promptly sent to the basement for what was supposed to be the duration of a tornado warning but it took far too long and we left before it was officially over.

Whew. I’m exhausted in the head.

Confronting another person with what you hope will be constructive criticism is hard enough; it’s even harder after the fact when the person completely disregards everything you said and sums it all up with what you’ve identified as the problem in the first place. That doesn’t make sense to you, I know. And I’m sorry but it’s too long of a story and I was trying to help and she thought I was the problem. Oh well. I suppose I tried. I even apologizedfor my part in any frustration and/or misunderstandings and she told me it was okay, that we’d work it out. She did not apologize for her part in any of my frustration and misunderstanding. I’m slightly more irritated after the conversation than I was before and now I’m left with no other alternative than to suck it up.

Then I went to my new therapist, whom I like very much, even though she made me cry and mocked me for trying to be a perfect mother, wife, daughter and employee. What? Is that not the goal for every woman? I mean, I get that it’s not realistic to actually accomplish, but shouldn’t it at least be the goal?

She had a kind way of restating what I’d just said but a peculiar way of pointing out the error of my thinking. I’m trying to fix things over which I have no control. I’m going back next week. We’ll see if she makes me cry again. I can’t wait!

In other news, we placed our crappy old couch on the curb last weekend because we are simply too sick of looking at such a piece of shit day in and day out. We’ll sit on the floor, dammit, rather than look at that sad, green butt rest any more. We figured it would motivate us to find a replacement quicker. And guess what? It totally did! We found this couch from Urban Outfitters and I’m going to place the order tonight. Hell yes! How excited are we?!

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