I feel like we’re 5 minutes into a strenuous hike and I’m already breathless…maybe 10 minutes in. Whatever that point is where just after the exhaustion sets in and you can’t believe you’re already so tired and you’re all am I really this out of shape?
But you know if you can just make it through that first stretch of difficulty that you’ll get some momentum and you’ll be good to go but you’re not sure you can make it and your husband turns around and urges you to come on and the look on his face says c’mon, don’t ruin this for me, I’m barely getting through myself but I’m determined not to quit. Don’t give up yet.
I feel like that today. He’s been walking with me slowly, holding my hand and gently urging me on but I feel that look in his eye today that’s about to start pleading. We can make it through this but you have to come, too.
He’ll have to wait this time, though. I can’t be rushed this time. I know he’s not trying to rush me but I’ll see it in his eyes and it will keep me going. I love needing him as much as I do now. I’ve never needed him like this and it feels good to finally have lost whatever prideful delusion it was that has prevented me from feeling this way before now.