I don’t really understand how I can be in such a good mood all day and the moment I get home I’m irritable and tired. It feels like it must be in my head because it doesn’t make sense. Maybe I’m expending all my energy fooling myself into feeling normal, like I’m not living this life of shock and loss so that when I don’t have to pretend anymore I come crashing unexpectedly down. I hate that. How can I just stabilize these emotions somehow?