The Real Me

I have been so fucking busy at work lately. Is that normal? Do people feel overwhelmed by their work? I try to compare the amount of satisfaction with the amount of sacrifice but I don’t know what other people think is normal. So, that’s just what I’m wondering. David has been telling me for years that I’m too into my job. But doesn’t that mean I like it? He bases his opinion on the precipice that I don’t like my job because it’s corporate. But I think I might actually like it, even though it’s corporate.

Anyway, I think I like it. Either that or I’m a huge narcissist.

I’m in a training position at a major corporation. I’m in a department of people who teach sales people how to do their jobs. I just got assigned responsibility for the Sales education website, but I haven’t really gotten a chance to totally focus on it. I’ve been working on an internal blog but haven’t presented it to our director yet. My boss just told me to, but I’m wondering about her motivation for telling me. I think it’s because she’s (the director) mentioned something to my boss about the new buzz phrase, “social media.” They are finally beginning to see the relevance and the opportunity to connect to people they’ve only begun to employ.

I’ve been working on the script for the online course that we’re creating about the new customer information tool they’re going to have to use. It’s my job to write the script for the course some other people will actually design. It’s a weird process. I have nothing to do with creating the visuals, but I’m responsible for writing the flow and the script of the course, and describing the visuals. Someone else might even record the audio. I think I’m going to, though. Honestly, it will be weird if they pick someone else to do the voice since I’m the one who wrote it. I mean, I’m working with this other lady and I got the content from someone else, but I put it together and decided what information Sales needs to know. And I wrote it.

God. Is this boring to you? I honestly really don’t know. I’m so in the thick of it that I can’t even tell if it’s absurd. The woman I’ve been working with is absolutely insane. She is this incredibly short. very weeble wobbly woman. She is constantly getting phone calls from her soon-to-be ex-husband and her crazy 17 year old daughter with bipolar disorder, supposedly, and apparently cannot be trusted. Everytime my coworker’s daughter calls, she has to answer the phone. And she answers it in this sticky sweet voice, so not matching the look on her face when the phone rings. She’s utterly exhausted. She told me she agreed to take her daughter on a cruise this summer and the daughter is apparently obsessed. She says the obsession is because she has bipolar but I’m not sure I’m convinced. I’m not an expert so there’s no way I could really know, but it sounds/looks to me like my coworker is the problem. She has raised her daughter to be completely co-dependent on her and she has no idea. She has no idea that she’s the problem. What is her daughter going to do when she dies? Her father certainly isn’t going to invest any time on her. It’s heartbreaking really.

Sometimes my coworker puts her soon-to-be ex on speaker phone so I can listen. I frantically put my ringer on silent when she does this for fear what he would say if my phone ring while he was whining about not having enough gas money to pick their daughter up from school every day. Not saying outright that he didn’t want to do it; he simply couldn’t come up with the money if he wanted to eat. He said he was counting crackers.

Although she did hear me getting into an argument with my husband last week. It was weird because I could tell she could hear but she wasn’t saying anything and then when I said something she was so quick to take my side. People so want their misery to be accompanied by everyone around them. She doesn’t understand, though, that I don’t think I’m miserable, I’m just imperfect.

Aren’t we all?

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  1. #1 by b on February 6, 2011 - 12:43 pm

    doesn’t just about everyone feel overwhelmed by their work??? please don’t tell me if the answer is no.

    and i think it’s ok to like your job, too 🙂 having said that though, your coworker sounds crazy.

  2. #2 by Catherine W on February 14, 2011 - 4:57 pm

    ‘I’m so in the thick of it that I can’t even tell if it’s absurd.’ You appear to have summed up my entire working life in one sentence. Sometimes I get carried away, then have this horrible lurch in perspective and can’t believe that I actually care about something so inherently silly.

    I hope you get to be ‘the voice’, it only seems fair.

    Sometimes I don’t particularly like my job, sometimes I do find it overwhelming and annoying and boring. At other times I find it kind of absorbing.

    Is it wrong that the image of the insane colleague’s ex counting his crackers made me smile? I wasn’t sure if he really was counting crackers or just courting sympathy. And their poor daughter. Geesh, it is heartbreaking.

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